Tests, Of All Kinds

Friday's written test (short answer, multiple choice & T/F, comprising 50 questions) turned out a 92% for me. Some tricky questions in there... and three of the four I missed were T/F, of course.

This morning we had the PRT, and I think my overall range is in the Excellent category this time: 89 curl-ups, 29 push-ups, and 13:30 on my 1.5 mile run. I hadn't been practicing as much as I should, but with all the leave I took the last two months, it's not too shocking. :) The grass was very wet this morning, and the sun was as bright as ever, but we were done by 0920... before it had a chance to noticeably affect the heat.

And of course, I forgot that we would be taking our practical in the lab today. I went second, and got flustered... (we were doing it one-on-one, and it had been at least 5 days since we had been taught it) and I missed a couple little things and only got a 95%, when most of the class got 98-100's. During class-time, I was the only one who bothered to start taking notes. It frustrates me that I put out so much effort, but still others do better on tests. There's a 3-way "tie" for 3rd place (at 92%) and I'm on the bottom of that (at 5th place), behind by 0.07%.

But what aggravates me most is how much this affects my spirits. My family is intensely competitive sometimes, and test-taking has always been a sore spot for me. I'm not the best at it, and sometimes it takes me a while to get things, but I work hard for it. What bothers me most is that inside I'm hoping for the others to screw up, so I can get some sort of pat on the back for being the best. What's crazy, is that the ranking in this class does not matter at all... just so you pass (80%). It doesn't affect orders, or anything else. I can't get the top of the class award, because I missed it in A school by 0.25%... that and the leader in this class has a 98.2ish%.

What am I saying with all this? God, please help me. I want to show off your grace and peace, not my selfishness. Give me your joy with whatever ranking I have. Help me to remember what is important and what is not.